IF U MISS AN OPPORTUNITY DON'T FILL THE EYES WITH TEARS..
IT WILL HIDE ANOTHER BETTER OPPORTUNITY IN FRONT OF U....
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
--
Drunk Taster
In an alcohol factory the regular taster died and the director was in urgent need of looking for a replacement.
A drunkard with ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position..
The director of the factory wondered how to send him away.
They tested him.
They gave him a glass with a drink. He tried it and said, "It's red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers."
"That's correct", said the boss.
Another glass.
"It's red wine, cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak barrels."
"Correct."
A third glass.
''It's champagne, high grade and exclusive'' calmly said the drunk.
The director was astonished.
He winked at his secretary to suggest something.
She brought in a glass of urine. The alcoholic tried it.
"It's a blonde, 26 years old, pregnant in the third month.
And if you don't give me the job, I'll name the father!"
To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine...
And those who don't.
As Ben Franklin said:
In wine there is wisdom,
In beer there is freedom,
In water there is bacteria.
In a number of carefully controlled trials,
Scientists have demonstrated that if we drink
1 litre of water each day,
At the end of the year we would have absorbed
More than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria
Found in faeces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop..
However,
We do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer
(or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor)
Because alcohol has to go through a purification process
Of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Remember:
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health.
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk shit
Than to drink water and be full of shit.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information:
I'm doing it as a public service!
Solid Brains
An Indian man walks into the New York City bank and asks for the loan officer.
He tells the Loan Officer that he was going to India for some business for 2 weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The Loan Officer tells him that the bank will need Some form of security for the loan.
So the Indian man hands over the keys and the documents of the new Ferrari car parked on the street in front of the bank.
The loan officer consults the president of the bank, Produces all the required items and everything check out to be OK.
The loan officer agrees to accept the car as a security for the loan.
The bank president and the Loan Officer had a good laugh at the Indian For keeping a $750,000 Ferrari as a security and taking only $5,000 has a loan.
An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari Into the banks underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later the Indian returns and pays $5000 and the interest which comes to it $15.41.
Seeing this, loan officer says,
“Sir, we are very happy to have your business And this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you are away, we checked you out and found out that you were a multi millionaire.
What puzzled us was why would you bother to borrow $5000?”
The Indian replies
"Where else in the New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks and For only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return".
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POWER..........
POWER OF KNOWLEDGE
KNOWLEDGE IS POWER
1. The desire for power inherent in man.
2. Distinctions and disparities lead to the idea of superiority both on the individual and national level.
3. Mental power superior than physical power.
4. Knowledge attained by man gave him the power to rule over the elements that govern life.
5. All the discoveries and inventions of man, the manifestation of the power of knowledge.
6. Discipline, order and economy form the basis of the power given by knowledge
7. ‘Balance’ is the cardinal virtue of good sense.
8. Knowledge must mellow in wisdom which is the mark of culture and humanity.
9. The quest of knowledge should lead to the realization of the Truth.
